Wednesday, November 23, 2011

My Relationships?

I am thrilled to say that I get better and better at finding my still mind and feeling inner peace after each meditation practice. I enjoyed this practice because I got to choose the part of my life that could use the most focus right now. All I can say about his activity is that it renewed my hopes to repair my inner peace and control my thoughts for those who choose to make having a relationship so difficult. My question for all of you is why is it so hard to have relationships with some, while others it comes at such ease? Choosing to work on my interpersonal relationships just reminds me that people are things in your life that you cannot control. It goes back to the adage that I like to live by: Accept the things you cannot change. Even as a child I found my interpersonal relationships to be very important in my life. I wear my heart on my sleeve and for the most part I've developed deep and appreciative relationships with many people. I have however, had many people hurt me along the way and I find this to be something very difficult for me to get over. This also goes back to our willingness for forgiveness in our lives as forgiveness is a direct example of our interpersonal relationships as well. I plan on focusing more in depth on the aspect of forgiveness and it's principles and hope by understanding the role of the interpersonal relationship in our life and just how we can productively always surround ourselves with those who appreciate who we are and lift us up to be better people. What is so interesting is how just a few people that cause you to have feelings of mistrust and hurt can be so disruptive in your life, or rather, my life. I guess the first step to solving any problem is identifying it first. As I know I cannot change people and in fact I would never want to do this, I must accept the things I cannot change and find ways of letting them go. It's time to focus on the loving-kindness of life and those relationships that foster my human flourishing.

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving holiday and I look forward to reading each of your blogs!

Katie


Posted by at

4 comments:

  1. MicheleNovember 28, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Hi Katie
    I have no idea why it is easier to have relationships with some people and others it takes a lot of hard work. I think it all comes down to people who want to know you and others who have no desire to be apart of your life. I have to agree that I too wear my heart on my sleeve and when people say hurtful things it really takes a toll on my emotional well-being. We definitely have to surround ourselves with people who care about us and like you said-accept the things we can not change because people will be who they want to be. Forgiveness is definitely important and it is something that I too need to work on. Great post on your thoughts and feelings. Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Diana SchneiderNovember 28, 2011 at 6:29 PM

    Katie,
    Yes, some people are very difficult to have relationships with. I have learned to practice one of the four agreements "Don't Take Anything Personally" from the book "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz. I also get hurt easily and being able to repeat that agreement to myself really helps. I have also learned to re-prioritize my relationships to the ones who prioritize me and not just with who they are. Meaning that I love my mom, I have a good relationship with her, but she left when I was 10, I forgave her and love her and she did what she needed to. However, I have a great relationship with my boyfriend, we do not live together or plan to marry soon due to us each having full custody of our kids, me 3 and him 2, and my mom is baffled as to why I want to spend holidays with him and not her. However, now that my mom is retired she still only comes to see me and my children when it is convenient for her so I make her a lesser priority, it doesn't mean I love her less, just that I don't jump when she says jump, I tend to mosey. :-)

    I have also learned though my years of personal growth that those of us that tend to be on the path of Integral Health are not the larger of the population and therefore we need to learn to be able to grow and show loving-kindness and yet be able to meet others where they are on their path, which is most likely on the bottom rung of the personal growth ladder. This can be difficult as this usually means we are often the "bigger" person and apologize first, etc. and it can be difficulty always being the humble person, but with education and growth comes great responsibility to use it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. TJNovember 29, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    Katie,

    Relationships have not been that easy for me either, but I am finally in a relationship that does not seem like work at all and have been with him for over a year now. He stress communication, communication, communication, so much so that it is just a natural habit now to talk about anything that is bothering me with him. I want to say thank you again for your post, it was well written and came straight from the heart. Keep up the good work.

    Tammy

    ReplyDelete
  4. AngieNovember 29, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    Katie,
    I really enjoyed reading your blog this week! To answer you question about "why is it easier to have relationships with some but harder with others?" I feel it is because we can relate to some people more because of life experiences and personalities. People who are more like us are usually easier to talk to and share stories with.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)